Shot at a gas station somewhere in the Piedmont:
Has this country gotten so damned far out our minds that we can’t even have a French Tickler anymore? “Tickle her fancy with the real thing… It’s the patriotic thing to do!”
Really? I thought my cock was the real thing. I gotta examine my understanding of reality now. Plus, if using a plastic real thing is the patriotic thing to do, what does shagging my old lady with just L’il Jimmy make me? Communist? Am I now a pinko because my shaft is unadorned?
If I used a giant, purple plastic dong on her, would that make me like superpatriotic? Would she queef Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA?” And if I used some synthetic lubricant, a vibe and butt plugs along with that dong, would it then make me a founding father? Perhaps…
(Oh, and as a footnote – would it be too much to ask the gas station to brew and serve decent coffee? Really? I mean – Christ. I’m not expecting Starbucks at a gas station, but does it have to taste like bong water?)
(And another footnote – fun stuff to do with vending machines, even condom machines that sell bullshit like the Freedom Tickler.)
No comments yet.